February 17, 2011
“Pets as Bedmates,” or “Doggie Do’s and Doggie Dont’s” is an emotionally-laden caveat against welcoming filthy animals into your lovenest for the Fido generation. You’re lonely, you’re anxious, you wake up to the sound of your own sobs in the middle of the night from a dream about the one who got away boffing your best friend only to be comforted by your real best friend:  Man’s best friend.  We’ve all been there; some of us more than others. While it may be tempting to cozy up to your pot-bellied pig (read: little spoon) every night, this misunderstanding of the term “animal husbandry” could easily summon the Black Death to descend upon your pillow palace.  Don’t be too quick to give fluffy the boot, however as: “…kicking pets out of bed isn’t likely to be an option for many people. First of all, it’s difficult to retrain animals once they have established a routine. Erica Lehrer and Richard Goldman of Houston learned that when they tried to keep their three cats out of the bedroom after installing an expensive black carpet.  “They staged a protest: cried all night, pounded with their cat paws on the door,” said Ms. Lehrer, 52, a writer. After three sleepless nights, she said: “They won and moved back in. We bought a really good vacuum cleaner.”   “Now we know that white carpet is better than black if you have cats,” added Mr. Goldman, a 54-year-old business consultant who disliked all cats before he married Ms. Lehrer, and finds himself in the guest room when the two in his home are too active in the bed. “Marriage is a journey, and this is part of it.” While this cat in a hot twin bed might be just another bump in the proverbial road that is marriage for the Lehrers, Kathy Ruttenberg’s “upstate menagerie” consisting of 160 animals has proven to be less of an aphrodisiac.  Her mother worries that the animals may put Kathy, 53, in the permanent zone of marriage ineligability.   “Bye-bye, boyfriend. Hello, love? “The truth is, with all my animals around me, I feel loved here, and I always have someone to come home to and someone who misses me when I’m away,” said Ms. Ruttenberg, who grew up on the Upper East Side and got her first pet, a dog, 20 years ago, after a terrible romantic breakup.” Ah, now the message is clear: rabbit tears will not heal wounds.  Even of the heart.  EMH

“Pets as Bedmates,” or “Doggie Do’s and Doggie Dont’s” is an emotionally-laden caveat against welcoming filthy animals into your lovenest for the Fido generation. You’re lonely, you’re anxious, you wake up to the sound of your own sobs in the middle of the night from a dream about the one who got away boffing your best friend only to be comforted by your real best friend:  Man’s best friend.  We’ve all been there; some of us more than others.

While it may be tempting to cozy up to your pot-bellied pig (read: little spoon) every night, this misunderstanding of the term “animal husbandry” could easily summon the Black Death to descend upon your pillow palace.  Don’t be too quick to give fluffy the boot, however as:

“…kicking pets out of bed isn’t likely to be an option for many people. First of all, it’s difficult to retrain animals once they have established a routine. Erica Lehrer and Richard Goldman of Houston learned that when they tried to keep their three cats out of the bedroom after installing an expensive black carpet. 

“They staged a protest: cried all night, pounded with their cat paws on the door,” said Ms. Lehrer, 52, a writer. After three sleepless nights, she said: “They won and moved back in. We bought a really good vacuum cleaner.”  

“Now we know that white carpet is better than black if you have cats,” added Mr. Goldman, a 54-year-old business consultant who disliked all cats before he married Ms. Lehrer, and finds himself in the guest room when the two in his home are too active in the bed. “Marriage is a journey, and this is part of it.”

While this cat in a hot twin bed might be just another bump in the proverbial road that is marriage for the Lehrers, Kathy Ruttenberg’s “upstate menagerie” consisting of 160 animals has proven to be less of an aphrodisiac.  Her mother worries that the animals may put Kathy, 53, in the permanent zone of marriage ineligability.  

“Bye-bye, boyfriend. Hello, love?

“The truth is, with all my animals around me, I feel loved here, and I always have someone to come home to and someone who misses me when I’m away,” said Ms. Ruttenberg, who grew up on the Upper East Side and got her first pet, a dog, 20 years ago, after a terrible romantic breakup.”

Ah, now the message is clear: rabbit tears will not heal wounds.  Even of the heart.  EMH

4:13pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeVwMy37fgMl
(View comments) 
Blog comments powered by Disqus